As a counselor, I have worked with clients for months before they are able to trust me enough to know that whatever they tell me I will not hurt them with. In most cases of abuse this is the case. When beginning a therapeutic relationship clients understand there are only a few times as a counselor that I have to disclose the information that is shared with me, and those times are if they are wanting to hurt themselves, hurt others or are being hurt by others.
EVERY TIME a woman (or children) discloses they are in danger or has been in danger at the hands of others they are ALWAYS fearful of what the repercussions towards them will be for telling the truth. You have to understand that it is this fear that the enemy uses to keep you trapped in abuse! I say this so that if you are also in an abusive relationship and are reading this, that you hear that having this fear is normal and that you are not alone in it. As a victim of abuse you are constantly living in survival mode which includes thinking about everything that may happen in order to protect yourself from more harm.
But what if I were to tell you that YOU have the power to take away the ability your husband has to hurt you, just by telling someone. By telling someone your husband no longer has the same power over you because he no longer can control you with his wrath! It does not mean the fear will go away immediately, as it will grow before it subsides. But when you expose light to darkness, darkness flees. Meaning, your telling someone and getting help makes your husband reap consequences for the choices HE HAS MADE, NOT YOU! And when this happens he no longer has the power to control you anymore!
The problem with being trapped is we don't see clearly! When we are locked into abuse we believe we are protecting ourselves and our children by not saying anything. Because when we stay silent we believe his wrath does not ensue and harm us. However, the reality is that the first time you are hit is the ONLY time you are NOT part of the problem. After that first time, if you don't choose to tell someone about what he has done and make sure it does not happen again, you become part of the cycle. It is this cycle that enables him to believe he can do it again to you and possibly to even your children. This cycle is very dangerous, because the only direction it takes you is down. It is at the bottom of this cycle that I don't want you to be, because at this point a person believes the only escape is death.
Many times when I have helped clients where children have been taken away from domestic violence, part of the process of healing is helping the woman understand how she was part of the problem by staying silent. Helping her to see that every time she didn't tell someone and allowed her children to be exposed to the same abuse she was, whether it be physical, verbal, sexual, spiritual or neglect, she was NOT PROTECTING them from it. And it is this point that governing bodies get involved by taking children into custody, to protect children from experiencing more abuse if the child's parents can not trusted to protect them from it themselves.
I understand there is so much more than can be talked about on this subject, but saying everything is NOT the point of this blog today. The point is if you are still reading and you are in danger, you need to tell someone TODAY by calling 911! You need to chose to be a part of protecting you and your children and not part of the cycle you are in! It's okay to say NO to someone that is hurting you!
I want to leave you with this thought from Jesus himself! Have you ever heard of the story Jesus told us in Mathew 18:6 MSG “But if you give them a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you’ll soon wish you hadn’t. You’d be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck. Doom to the world for giving these God-believing children a hard time! Hard times are inevitable, but you don’t have to make it worse—and it’s doomsday to you if you do."
Jesus is encouraging us to first of all understand that we are HIS children and HE is warning anyone that hurts us or makes us sin is doomed. Jesus says it would be better off for them to put a huge rock that was used to grind grain around their neck and be dropped off into the middle of a lake and drown than what will happen to them for hurting you and your children!
Trust Jesus!!! HE WILL HELP YOU IF YOU ASK HIM TO!
YOU just need to call 911 and tell them EVERYTHING!!!
Is this you?
.Do you want to know God more? Do you want someone to help you do so? Do you want someone to walk alongside you who has been in your shoes? Do you feel alone? Do you want to experience the healthier and happier you?