How do you express love,
how do you receive love,
and how is this affecting your marriage???
First question to help us, is to ask ourselves how we like to give or show love to others. The reason why we ask ourselves this question is because it shows us what our love languages are for ourselves, and how we are showing love to others whether intentionally or unintentionally. For example, if I like to give a hug to someone to tell them I love them, I am operating in the love language of touch. If I like to tell someone I love them all of the time or how amazing they are, then I operate in the love language of words of affirmation. If I like to show someone I love them by doing something for them, I am operating in the love language of acts of service. If I like to tell someone I love them by doing something with them, I am operating in the love language of quality time. And finally, if I like to tell someone I love them by buying or giving them something, then I am operating in the love language of gifts.
It is important to know how WE feel loved, because that is how we GIVE love. The problem with this is that our partner may or may not feel loved in the same way that we do. So when I give my husband a hug he may not feel loved, but instead will feel loved when I do something for him. By understanding our own love languages and those of our spouse, we can love them SELFLESSLY.
God teaches us that His love for us and others is SELFLESS, NOT Selfish. When we choose to show love to our spouse through our love language knowing they do not feel loved when we share our love through our love languages, we are being selfish. Because the act of loving them then is to make ourselves feel better or loved, and not to make them feel loved.
Bottom line, the challenge first is to know your own love languages. Second, to know your spouses. And Third, to love them through THEIR love language, NOT our own!
If you would like more information about love languages, or how else to bring God's love into your marriage let me know what I can do to help you! You can also get more inspirational content like this to encourage you on your journey by following the link below.
I pray your relationship will become a living testimony of God's love!
Luvs, Pastor Jen
Adopted from Chapman, Gary (1992). The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Northfield Publishing.
Is this you?
.Do you want to know God more? Do you want someone to help you do so? Do you want someone to walk alongside you who has been in your shoes? Do you feel alone? Do you want to experience the healthier and happier you?