When I first asked Jesus into my life, God challenged me to wait for the man he would send me instead of searching for someone myself. To wait for a man who would pursue me with the character of God and cherish me as God calls him to cherish and love his wife. Someone who would be governed by the vary nature of God in how he lived his own life for God to use to pursue me through him.
This was all VERY new for me, and something to be honest I had not observed in others relationships yet at this time in my life. I just knew I heard my heavenly Father's voice challenging me to trust Him with this area of my life. I just didn't realize God knew what I wanted and needed better than I knew myself, until my husband Travis came along. You see when I first met Travis he actually annoyed me. We met in Bible College in our Old Testament class. He was the guy that threw paper balls at me in class from the back row, as I sat in the front row with a 4.0 GPA that semester as a single mom. (Side note, even God knew that too would be something God would pursue me in through Travis as he graduated with a higher GPA than I did in the end.) What began as an annoyance slowly grew into a friendship I loved, and it made me want more of it everyday. But yet while walking across campus one day and being told that Travis liked me I was still so uninterested in him as more than a friend that my first response to this information to my girlfriend was, "Ewe gross." Thinking about this now makes me disappointed in myself that day. However, looking back with 20/20 vision I can now see how God was protecting me from being attracted to Travis until I could see him the way God was orchestrating me to. You see at this time in my life, not knowing any better, I had created a list of things I did and did not want in my future husband. Number one on this list in capital letters with three explanation marks behind it were the words NO HAIR. I was not interested in being with someone that was a "hairy man", and Travis is one of the hairiest men I know. Looking back now though, I see how God used this first item on my list; to not be attracted to Travis physically until I was able to see the heart God had instilled in him to love me the way I never thought I deserved. Don't get me wrong! I LOVE MY HUSBAND and think he is the BEST LOOKING MAN now physically, intellectually and spiritually. Yet I needed God to show me what love really looked like before I could fully receive the love God had for me through His love given to me through Travis. When I was waiting for my husband, Travis became the best friend I never knew I could have in a man, first! All of the things on my list God then checked off through Travis and then some, giving me more than I ever expected! I thought I knew what I wanted and needed more than God did, and my question for you today is are you too doing the same? Are you comparing relationships, yourself, or people in your life based on your own expectations and not on God's? Because if you are, my challenge to you is to do what God asked of me. WAIT on God! TRUST in God to provide! Because when you do the unexpected will happen, and you will find the love you have been searching for all along; because the source of that love will be the author of Love pursuing you through them. Love will become more than just the definition of love you have learned it to be. With this new understanding, God will open your eyes to see what God has for you as His child. You will experience a marriage built on friendship, purity and hearts that put God first as their first Love. This love will then create a healthier relationship than you will ever find on your own!
1 Comment
Melissa Power
11/20/2021 01:51:30 am
Thank you for sharing and bring so honest. God is indeed the perfect matchmaker - if we will let Him. Loved reading your book Jen - in fact reading the above has prompted me to want to read it all over again! Xx
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